


Fill My Heart With Song (Let me sing forever more)

by Steeella



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Demon!Shane, Graphic Description of Corpses, Guardian Demon, Human!Ryan, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective! Shane, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, past abusive relationship, well sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23578828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steeella/pseuds/Steeella
Summary: There was a pause, in which the only sound was the fan oscillating gently in the background.''You are what?''Shane rolled his eyes. ''Think of it like a guardian angel, but someone messed up along the way. That's pretty much what happened.''Ryan's hand inched towards the knife on the counter. ''You're a demon?''Nodding, Shane gave him the jazz hands. ''That's me baby!''Ryan wants to end it all. Shane is paid to make sure that doesn't happen. Chaos ensues.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 38
Kudos: 301





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: this is of course a work of fiction. I completely respect Ryan and Shane's real lives and relationships :)

Ryan's hands clenched the metal bar until his knuckles turned white. The water seemed to call his name as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. Dark ripples drew him near in the captivating way that water always did. They whispered to him soothingly, promising him a swift departure and then a quiescent mind. Ryan didn't even know if he could separate the voice in his head to the imaginary calls from things that couldn't talk.

Come on Ryan. Do it and it will all be over.

The past two month had been agony. Ryan's mind, a once tranquil, happy garden, had been transformed into a battlefield. Happy ideas were crushed by tanks, and bitter memories clouded his vision like gas. It was a civil war between himself and the dark corner of his mind, tearing him up like machine gun fire. The space Damian had taken up was now a bullet hole in his heart. It was better now he was gone, and the bullet had been removed, but the scars he had left would always be there.  
He had sat, with a smile plastered across his face, while condolences were given like olive branches, and Ryan couldn't find the words to admit that he wasn't fine.

Because the damage had already been done before the accident.

There were scars, dirty and red in his mind that only he could see and were never going away, left by too many bad things. There were bruises on his face, bruises all up his arms and all over his body, left there by someone that told him he deserved them. And there were scars on his wrist and up his arm, in a crimson lattice that Ryan had left, that reminded him on a daily basis that he was not okay. 

You need to do this. It's the only way.

Ryan made up his mind. In a swift motion he swung his leg over the side of the bridge and stood up.

Forgive me.

And suddenly the air was rushing past him, and he shut his eyes in preparation for the impact.

But it didn't come.

Ryan jerked to a halt. He opened his eyes, tentatively, and saw he was hanging in mid air. A hand had grabbed his arm just before he had fallen fully.

Behind him, a voice laughed.

''You're going to make my job very difficult, if you pull stunts like that.''

Turning his head in alarm, Ryan looked up and saw a man with shaggy brown hair and a shit eating grin, half dangling over the edge of the bridge. He was apparently stronger than he looked, too, because he was holding Ryan's whole weight with one arm. Chuckling at Ryan's dumbfounded expression, the man helped him back up onto the bridge.

''Why did you do that?'' Ryan spluttered.

The man raised his angular eyebrows. ''As far as I know, most people wouldn't just stand by and watch a man pinball to his death.'' he smirked. ''Also, I would probably be fired.''

This wasn't a very helpful explanation.

''You'd be fired...?''

The man nodded. ''I'm afraid so.''

Ryan scratched his head. This had been a very confusing day.

''From where exactly?''

''Oh. That doesn't matter. Don't worry about it, Ryan. I'll see you around.''

He winked, and turned on his heel. Ryan blinked, and he was gone.

''Wait!'' Ryan exclaimed, spinning round in a circle. ''How do you know my name?''

There was no reply except from the gentle murmur of traffic.

***  
Ryan couldn't sleep. 

When Damian's stuff had finally been cleared out, Ryan's apartment had seemed to sigh with relief. But now there was something missing. Ryan had constantly told himself that Damian filled the lacuna in his heart, and that was why he let him stay. He loved him, right?

Damian had always acted like Ryan had was a burden, and that Damian was very generous to let Ryan stay with him in his apartment, when in reality Ryan had been the one who had bought it. Ryan had quit his job because Damian wanted to be the only one making money for them, and now he was unemployed without Damian to help him. Not that he'd been much help anyway - Damian had bought everything for them, including Ryan's clothes, so Ryan wasn't really used to having much money to spend.

Ryan sat up and looked around his room. It was perfectly tidy: Ryan wasn't usually an organised person but he'd left his apartment that day thinking he was never going back, and wanted to at least leave it clean for whoever arrived next.

Cautiously, he treaded through to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. He couldn't get the man on the bridge out of his head. Who was he? Why did he know who Ryan was? He wanted to see him again, whoever he was, but surely that would be impossible...

His eyes fell on the knife rack on the counter.

''You're going to make my job very difficult if you pull stunts like that...''  
Licking his lips, Ryan seized a knife. It was one of the bigger ones, used for chopping carrots. Ryan turned it over in his right hand, and rolled up his sleeve.

The cold metal had barely touched Ryan's forearm when the voice exclaimed behind him.

''Ryan! For fuck's sake!''

Ryan jumped in alarm and very nearly dropped the knife. The man had appeared again, wearing in the same brown jumper and unreadable expression. He reached over and grabbed Ryan's hand. He had long fingers and a strong grip. Ryan's hand seemed to burn where they touched.

''How-how-are you in my apartment?'' Ryan spluttered, watching as the man sat down at the kitchen table and put his feet up on the chair.  
The man's mouth twisted into a smile. ''Wasn't that what you wanted? To see me again?'' he rested his chin on his hands and fluttered his eyelashes. ''I didn't know I had made such an impression. I should have kept my moustache for the occasion.'' 

Ryan blushed. ''No! I just wanted answers! I don't even know your name!''

The man blinked. ''My name? Well... My name is Shane, I guess.''

''Shane...'' Ryan let the name roll over his tongue like a song. ''What the fuck is going on, Shane?''

Shane chuckled and brushed his hair out of his face. Ryan wondered why he hadn't cut it if it was such a burden. ''If I tell you, you have to promise not to freak out. There's also a chance you won't believe me, but I've been watching you for a long time, and you seem very susceptible to things with little proof, so lets go.'' he took a deep breath. ''I'm your guardian demon.''

There was a pause, in which the only sound was the fan oscillating gently in the background.

''You are what?''

Shane rolled his eyes. ''Think of it like a guardian angel, but someone messed up along the way. That's pretty much what happened.''

Ryan's hand inched towards the knife on the counter. ''You're a demon?''

Nodding, Shane gave him the jazz hands. ''That's me baby! Here to protect you, even when you're a dumbass.'' 

''But-but you don't look like a demon.''  
With an exasperated sigh, Shane pulled back his long hair to reveal a pair of tiny, crimson horns. It looked as though they should have been longer, but someone had chopped the tops off to make them less noticeable. Ryan wondered if it had hurt.

''Basically Ryan, everyone gets a guardian angel. Well, almost everyone. I had been sent by Lucifer to wreak havoc on earth because he fell out with the angels again, but I was... hesitant. They wanted me to kill someone, and normally I'd jump at the chance, but this person was innocent, and they still had their whole life ahead of them. Normally I'm just in charge escorting the people who die into hell. Anyway, I refused, and I got labelled as a traitor so they sent me up to heaven to work there as punishment.'' Shane's face looked bitter with the memory. ''You happened to be the next person they were assigning angels, so unfortunately for you, ya got landed with me.''

Ryan looked at his feet. ''I don't think it's unfortunate.'' he flushed. ''I-uh-I mean, you saved my life, so you can't be bad.''

''Thanks Ryan, but I really am.'' he clicked his fingers, and a pint of beer appeared in his hand. Ryan jumped. ''I'm a fucking mess. '' he took a large sip and then set the glass down on the counter with a thud.

''You know that makes you look like an asshole,'' Ryan snorted.  
''What do you mean?''

''You can't just take a drink after saying something like it makes my point invalid.''

Shane looked him in the eye. ''I can. And it does.'' and with a grin he finished the beer in one long gulp. 

Ryan couldn't help but laugh, and suddenly he couldn't stop. It had been ages since he'd laughed, properly laughed. When Ryan properly laughed he wheezed.

''Ryan, dude, are you having an asthma attack or something?'' Shane spluttered, fighting back a smile.

''Fuck off.''

They looked at each other, and Ryan felt better than he had in a very long time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This chapter is mostly just dialogue and exposition but I need to put it in here. Also I don't know if it's my shitty laptop or something but its not letting me copy the italics. The first chunk is a flashback and should be in italics. It also has hinted non-consensual sex and past abuse. If that's triggering for you just skip the first paragraph.  
> Hope you enjoy :)

Six months ago  
''You know I love you, Ryan?''  
Ryan nodded profusely. Damian's grip on his wrist made his hand feel numb.  
''Do you love me, Ryan?''  
''I do, Damian, I do, I promise-''  
''Then why do you have to make it so hard?'' Damian snarled, nails digging into Ryan's wrist. Right where his scars were. ''I don't ask much. I don't ask you do to much. And yet you continue to disobey me.''  
Ryan's eyes filled with tears. ''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, it was a mistake, I-''  
Damian let go of Ryan's wrist. ''Shut up. Stop crying. Ryan. Stop being weak. I'm trying to talk to you.''  
Ryan dragged his eyes up to meet Damian's gaze. ''I-I'm sorry, I'm trying.''  
Snarling, Damian pushed Ryan against the kitchen wall. ''Take off your clothes.''  
''What?''  
''You fucking heard me. Take off your clothes.''

Ryan sat up. His face was wet with tears. He wiped them away furiously.

''You okay, dude?''

Jumping, Ryan looked around to see Shane sitting in the chair next to his bead. He could only make out his tall outline and the start of his horns on his head in the darkness of the room.

''Jesus, dude!''

''Just Shane, I'm afraid. Sorry to disappoint.''

Ryan let out a breathy laugh. ''Have you been there the whole time?''

Shane shrugged. ''I'm always here. I've always been here. I don't need sleep. And being immortal means you get used to quite a lot of waiting around.''

''You're immortal?''

''Obviously.''

Ryan's eyes widened. ''What's it like, living forever?''

Something dark passed over Shane's face. ''It's not living forever,'' he said quietly. ''It's being the only one who doesn't die. It's suffering, without an end.''

Silence fell over them.

''Sorry, I shouldn't go on about myself. This is you we're talking about,'' said Shane after a moment. ''Why did you wake up? Did you have a nightmare?'' the look on his face showed he thought nightmares a very trivial thing in the grand scheme of things.

''It wasn't a nightmare,'' Ryan whispered. ''It was a memory.'' those tended to be far worse. They were real, and inescapable.

''Damian?''

''Yeah, I - hang on. How do you know about Damian?''

Shane looked sheepish. ''I have been watching you this whole time. I've seen everything.''

''Everything?''

''Yeah.''

''What about when I piss?''

''Yeah, funnily enough I tend to look away for that part,'' Shane snorted. ''But I know about him.''

Ryan stared at him.''Why didn't you do something?''

Shane's eyes widened. 

''You just watched?'' Ryan demanded, voice deadly. ''Why didn't you fucking DO SOMETHING?''

Shane stood up and held his hands in front of his chest in defence. ''I did, I promise, let me explain-''

''You did nothing? Nothing? YOU WATCHED HIM DESTROY ME?''

Ryan had stumbled out of bed, mind clouded with the delusions of sleep and night time. Anger had made him stupid. He seized Shane by his shirt collar and pulled his face down to his. Spit flew from his mouth as he snarled. ''Why didn't you help me.''

''Ryan, I -'' Shane looked scared, scared for the first time since Ryan had met him. 

''WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP ME?''

Shane put his hands on Ryan's shoulders. ''Please, listen.'' he said softly.

Ryan gasped with the tremble of tears. He realised what he was doing and started panting shakily. He buried his face in Shane's shirt.

''I'm sorry,'' he wept. ''I'm sorry.''

''It's okay,'' Shane whispered soothingly. ''He's not here. But listen to me.''

Ryan wiped his eyes. ''Your shirts a bit wet,'' he chuckled. ''But I'm listening.''

''I killed Damian.''

Tears stopped falling down Ryan's face. ''What?''

''I killed him. I took control of his car. He crashed. That was me.''

Whatever Ryan was expecting, it wasn't that. ''You killed him?''

''Yeah!'' Shane grinned. ''Why do you look so shocked? I thought you'd be happy!''

''I didn't... I wouldn't... you can't just kill someone!''

Shane shrugged. ''You'd be surprised.''

''But... his family?''

''You know just as much as I do that he had no family. You were the last person that cared about him, little guy. And look at you.''

''What's that supposed to mean?''

''He hurt you. You were the only person in the world that gave two fucks, and he broke you.''

Ryan's brow furrowed. Shane was right. But Damian didn't deserve to die.

''Dude, he kicked a blind man's dog out of the way to get into his car right before he died,'' Shane said with a grimace. ''He sucked. But if it's any consolation... he died very slowly and painfully.''

''How the fuck is that supposed to be consoling?'' Ryan laughed incredulously.

''Well. He put you though shit for ages, and in his last moments he felt it too.''  
Ryan remembered the moment, when the doorbell had rung and he had seen the lights of the police car before flashing through the window. He had known what they were going to say before they said it, but his knees had still trembled. He remembered gripping the door handle as the police told him that Damian was dead. A car crash.   
The bullet had been removed, but the wound was still there. Ryan would think that maybe he had been the one that had killed Damian, maybe he had called upon some secret god that had granted his wishes. Ryan blamed himself for Damian's death. That was the mark that he had left. To have broken Ryan so badly, and to keep on breaking him even when he wasn't there.

Ryan's brow furrowed. ''You really don't know anything about humans, do you?''

''Maybe I don't, little guy. I never claimed that I did.''

''Can you feel things?''

''Can I feel things? Of course I can! Emotions, not so much. Well, not really. Sometimes. Maybe three, four times a year?''

Ryan wheezed. ''Three times a year?''

''What's wrong with that?'' Shane chuckled. ''You humans, you get so hopelessly... verklempt. It's almost pitiful. I love when I do have emotions, though. Butterflies? They get me really excited. Butterflies are baller.''

''Yeah, I guess they're pretty sweet.'' Ryan's smile lit up the whole room. ''Do you ever get scared?''

''I've seen some pretty harrowing shit, Ryan. There's not a lot that makes me scared.''

''There must be something.''

''Ok, right, so hear me out, but I've always had a kind of fear that someone will trick me into doing heroin and I'll get addicted and it'll ruin my life.''

Ryan grinned, despite himself. ''That's ridiculous.''

''Also avocados! Once I choked to death on one. Not that I can die, of course, so it was just very painful, and then a very awkward conversation with Lucifer. Oh! Cannonballs too! There was a big increase in the 16th century of cannonball-related deaths. The number of poor folks coming down to hell with their head blown off was quite staggering, actually. Not a big fan of that.''

His eyes glazed over with reminiscence.

''So, uh, how are you doing, buddy? It's all going to be fine now. Damian can't hurt you. I made sure of that. I took him down to hell myself.''

Ryan sighed. ''I don't know. I just sometimes feel like he's still here. Like his ghost or something. It's ridiculous, I know.''

''Of course it's ridiculous, Ryan. For there to be a 'ghost' on earth, there would have had to be a serious error down in administration, and the guys down there are real whizz-kids. Apart from Debbie. Fucking Debbie. She's a real idiot. Beats me how they let her still work there. The other day she called me to ask me whether I'd still be friends with her if she was a worm. Of course not, we're not even friends now, imagine if she was a fucking worm-''

''-So what you're saying is ghosts could be real?'' Ryan interrupted eagerly.

''No! The idea is ridiculous. When people die, they stay dead. Well. You know. In heaven or hell.''

Ryan scratched his head thoughtfully. ''Is it possible for the dead to contact the living?''

''It's unlikely.'' Shane looked a bit annoyed that the conversation was about something he found so uninteresting. ''It does happen sometimes, though.''

Eyes glazing with deep thought and lack of sleep, Ryan failed to stifle a yawn. ''I should probably try and go back to sleep. But thank you.''

''For what?''

''I don't know man. I feel like you need a thank you.''

''I think everyone needs a thank you sometimes.'' Shane said, with a small smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are suffering anything like Ryan, the domestic abuse helpline is 0808 2000 247.


	3. Chapter 3

''For a demon, you can make good coffee,''

Shane looked up. ''Obviously. I can't believe you doubted me!''

Ryan grinned. It was a lazy morning, and Ryan was exhausted from his nightmare-ridden night. 

He hadn't quite thought about what was going to happen with Shane, he wasn't expecting a new roommate quite yet - let alone someone so abnormal, who he barely even knew. But there was something about Shane that was so easy and familiar, despite everything. Maybe it was the way he laughed at everything, even when it was dark and morbid, or when Ryan woke up to find he'd made him breakfast. Well, he'd tried to, but the pancakes had got stuck to the ceiling and the toast had somehow managed to get burnt. Ryan had smiled nonetheless, and showed Shane to the coffee maker.

''In my defence, you did nearly burn down my entire kitchen,''

Shane sighed over dramatically and sat down opposite Ryan. ''The emphasis being on nearly.''

Ryan chuckled, finishing the rest of the coffee in a long gulp.

Out of the corner of his eye, a dark shadow darted across the room. He jumped.

''Shane?'' Ryan yelped, twisting round. There was nothing there, of course. 

''You alright, little guy?''

''Yeah, I just... never mind.''

Shane looked at him, a concerned expression gathering on his face. ''You sure? You jumped a foot in the air!''

''I said I'm fine.'' Ryan snapped. He wasn't angry at Shane, he was just tired. He was so used to Damian's condascending words and harsh scoldings that he was so sure that Shane would be the same. Every thing Shane said, Ryan picked apart in his head for traces of venom.

There was never any.

''I'm sorry.'' Ryan said after a moment. ''I didn't mean to snap.''

''It's fine, little guy, don't worry about it.''

Ryan gave him a half-smile. ''So, are you staying here? It's not that I'm not enjoying your company, I was just wondering if I need to get out the sofa bed and do an extra round of shopping-''

''Ryan, I've told you before, I don't need sleep, or food. If I did, I would be complaining.''

Ryan gestured at Shane's cup of coffee and plate of toast. ''What about that?''

''I quite like the taste. And it's a way of keeping you company, you know? It would be a bit odd if I sat opposite you and watched you eat.''

''Yeah...''

''And I'm afraid I can't actually leave you. Guardians aren't really supposed to reveal themselves, but when you were on the bridge... I sort of had to. I thought I might stay with you, just in case you do anything... rash. Anyway, I physically can't be more than 100 metres away from you. I can make myself invisible though, and you can pretend I'm not there.''

''No, no it's fine. I like having you here.'' Ryan suddenly looked flustered. ''You know what I mean. It's a distraction from my thoughts.''

''I can be quite distracting,'' Shane said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Ryan laughed and hit him on the arm. His arm was extremely burning hot, even with his sleeves rolled up. ''Shit! How are you so hot? Are you sick?''

''I'm flattered, Ryan,'' Shane laughed. Ryan realized what he's said, and blushed again.

''I didn't-''

''-I'm afraid I'm just naturally this temperature. It's great when you're in Illinois or something, but less good when the coldest it's ever been here is 28 degrees Fahrenheit.''

''Why don't you take off that turtleneck, then?''

''Clothes don't effect it. This is standard demon temperature. Doesn't change.''

Ryan fell silent in thought. Sometimes he forgot that Shane was a demon. He seemed too nice, too genuine. If he was the kind of things that lived in hell, he couldn't imagine what it was like in heaven.

Suddenly, the dark shadow that had moved flickered again. It didn't have a shape, but it crawled across the room, to the doorway.

Then it stood up.

Ryan watched, eyes opening with terror. Then he screamed.

''SHANE! BEHIND YOU!''

Shane whipped around, and standing behind him in the doorway was a grotesque, twisted man. He had a sort of transparency about him, like dark water. Maybe he had once been handsome, but his face was bloody and bruised, and shards of glass were embedded in his face, making him unrecognisable. He began to walk towards them, and he walked the way a nightmare would walk: glitchy and distorted, almost like he wasn't real.

Ryan dug his fingernails into his palms. It was very much real.

''Ryan Bergara...'' the man moaned. His mouth sagged horribly, displaying his missing teeth.

Shane leapt up and stood in front of Ryan. He kept one hand on Ryan's shoulder, holding him steady, and the other hand outstretched to where the monstrous man was shuffling towards them.

''Go back,'' Shane commanded. ''You can't hurt him.''

The man growled. ''I've seen you, Shane. You're stronger than they make you out to be, you know. But it looks like you've found a weakness.''

And then he was gone. 

The room was silent apart from Shane's heavy panting, and the sound of Ryan's heartbeat in his ears. His face was still frozen in shock.

Shane turned round and put his hands on Ryan's shoulders. His eyes were wide and anxious.

''I think we might have to go and see Debbie.''


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry again this is so short

''So... tell me again what happened?''

Shane sighed exasperatedly, causing a lock of his long hair to flutter into the air. ''Something has happened, to allow Damian back into this world.'' he was pacing back and forth, arms crossed. ''I hate to admit it, but you were right.''

Rubbing his eyes, Ryan had to check this wasn't all a nightmare. He seemed to be doing that quite a lot lately, which couldn't be good. ''How do we stop him?''

Shane appeared to not have heard him, he was muttering to himself something along the lines of ''not happened since the 1800s,'' and ''completely unacceptable.''

Ryan stood up, took Shane's hand and gripped it tightly.

''I'm scared, Shane.''

Shane stopped in his tracks, surprised by the feeling of warmth that spread up his arm just from Ryan's touch. It was a different kind of warmth, different to body temperature, it was a warmth that made his hairs stand on end, as if he were cold. The kind of warmth that some people seemed to channel in their fingertips. He couldn't explain what he felt like when he was with Ryan, it wasn't something he'd ever experienced before. A new emotion. Something unprecedented. It was scary, but holding Ryan's hand in his made Shane feel safe, just for a split second. He wished he could do the same for Ryan, who's face was etched with fear.

''Please.''

Shane's breath caught in his throat, thrown off guard by the raw emotion in Ryan's voice. It unnerved him to see him so worried. ''I- of course. I'm sorry. I need to stop him.'' he patted Ryan's hand awkwardly. ''If he's broken up into your world, then there's no way of knowing what else he can do.''

Ryan nodded, and let go of Shane's hand as he realized what he was doing. He wiped his sweaty palm on his jeans. ''But - but how? How do we stop him?''

''I need to go to hell.'' Shane said casually, scratching his neck.

''You say that as if you just announced you were going to McDonald's,'' Ryan chuckled.

''You'd be surprised how similar they are, little guy.''

Smiling, Ryan took a deep breath. It was strange how comforting it was to be around Shane, his calm, reassuring nature made it impossible to feel too scared. 

''How do we get there?'' he asked after a second. Shane's face darkened.

''Oh, no, Ryan, you're not coming with me,'' he said quickly. ''It would be so dangerous, too dangerous... I literally cannot stress how dangerous it would be for you.''

''If it's dangerous for me, it's dangerous for you.''

''It's different, Ryan, you know it is.''

Ryan glared. ''I don't think it's that different. You could still get hurt. I can't let you get hurt.''

''Let's not forget that it is my job to protect you, Ryan, not the other way round. I can handle myself, but I am not risking your life for some stupid mistake someone has made, and I'm definitely not taking you with me somewhere so dangerous.''

''I don't care!'' Ryan snapped. ''If you're going there-''

''-I'm a demon, Ryan.''

''Could you get hurt?''

Shane couldn't meet his eyes. ''It's different, I said-''

''Could you get hurt?'' Ryan repeated. 

Shoulders slumping, Shane nodded. ''Yes. I could get hurt. But I still need to do it, Ryan, you don't understand how important it is we stop him-''

''-I have to come with you, then.'' Ryan interrupted. ''I can't let you get hurt, Shane.''

''It's different! I don't matter!'' Shane snarled, throwing his hands in the air in anger. For a split second, his eyes suddenly burned crimson and his teeth shot out, sharp like knives. Ryan jumped, and stumbled backwards in fear. Shane's eyes widened as he realized what had happened. He took a step towards Ryan, who flinched away. Shane stopped in his tracks and buried his head in his hands, scratching his face and swearing loudly.

Ryan watched Shane sink to his knees, moaning. ''Shane?''

''I'm sorry, Ryan,'' Shane muttered, his eyes and teeth normal. ''I can't get angry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm a monster...''

He was so tall, but in that moment he seemed to shrink in a ball of shame. Ryan crouched down and put his arms round his neck. ''You're not a monster, Shane. You do matter.'' Ryan took a deep breath. ''You're the kindest demon I've met.''

Shane looked at him in the corners of his eyes, blushing slightly. ''How many have you met?''

''It doesn't matter, really. If I'd met thousands you'd still be the best.''

''I assure you, the bar is quite low.''

Ryan sighed, but smiled. ''I'm still coming with you. You can't stop me.''

''I mean... I can,'' Shane smirked, stretching up. ''I doubt even your hot head and big muscles could be a match for my demonic prowess.'' Ryan rolled his eyes, grinning. ''But if you promise to stay by my side, at all times?''

Nodding fervently, Ryan agreed. ''I promise. And anyway... I thought it was you who couldn't be more than 100 metres away from me? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm fairly sure hell is more than 100 metres away.''

''I'd... hoped you wouldn't remember that.''

And with a smile, Shane took Ryan's hand again. He clicked his fingers, and they were gone from the apartment.


	5. authors note

Hey guys!  
So... I know this is very annoying of me but as you can probably tell I haven't updated this fic in a while, and that's because I've lost all motivation to write it. I never really had a plan to begin with (as you can probably tell), and I sort of just wrote the first chapters haphazardly during lockdown. I feel like I now have much better techniques for writing so I'm not going to be abandoning this all together because I still love the story, but I will probably be starting it again or something like that. The comments you guys have left have been so lovely and have honestly cheered me up through all of this so thank you! I know this is really stupid and I also don't want to seem like I'm making a big deal out of something quite trivial, but there you go.  
In the meantime, I have written other things that I'm much prouder of, so feel free to check those out ;)  
Hope you're all staying safe and well! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Hope you enjoyed this! Updates will probably be very sporadic, but I really like this story so I will try to write as much as I can. Title is of course by Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra. Please leave comments and kudos it will make my day! <3  
> (I'm sorry for all the mistakes this probably has)
> 
> maybe see you on tumblr? @shyanbergej


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